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The Sovereigns of England
757-796 - Offa of Mercia, powerful overlord of Anglo-Saxon England
802-839 - Egbert of Wessex, independent King of Wessex, father of Alfred
871-899 - Alfred the Great, succeeded his brothers, and inherited a Wessex ravaged by Viking attacks. Fought to hold his part of the country after being forced to hide in Somerset. Re-took the south of the Thames, thus being the only Anglo-Saxon King left in England. Was an accomplished scholar as well as sucessful warrior and reformer. Formed a pact to divide England with the vikings, leaving them to rule the "Danelaw". A most awesome dude.
899-925 - Edward the Elder . Son of Alfred, began to re-conquer the Danelaw.
925-934 - Athelstan, an efficient warrior, who completed the re-conquest and re-unification of England. Put a lot of effort into making North/South divide minimal. harried Scotland. A basic all-round awesome dude.
939-959 - Edmund I, Athelstan's brother.
959-975 - Edgar the Peaceable, generally recognised as a great King as he never had to resort to arms to make others realise that! Had an "imperial Roman-Charlemagne-style" coronation in Bath, and was rowed up the river Dee by Welsh Princes. Not bad...
975-978 - Edward the Martyr was rather unfairly brutally stabbed to death by his step-mother who wanted her son to be King, at Corfe.
978-1016 - AEthelred Unraed was the forementioned son, who turned out rather like his mother. The nickname "unread" means "treacherous plot" to counter the meaning of his first-mane, "noble counsel". AEthelred failed to stop his country being ravaged by lots more Vikings, who came over in force and wintered here. A generally unpopular loser.
1016 - Edmund II (Ironside) This man was so nearly the ultimate dude. His father's death prevented him from taking the throne by force, and he mobilized the tired Saxon army and turned them into a brutal fighting force. In four months he licked the Vikings so badly that their King, Cnut was forced to agree to a treaty saying that if he died before (the young and virile) Edmund, all the land he conquered would pass to the Saxons, and vice verca. Unfortunately, worn out by his exersions, Edmund suddenly died, and Cnut got the lot...
1016-1035- Cnut succeeded the throne of England already a King of the Danes, and ruled a large Scandenavian Empire. He was benevolent towards the Anglo-Saxons, and respected their religion.
1035-1040- Harald I wasn't, diddn't and died after drinking to much.
1040-1042- Hardicnut wasn't either, still didn't threw his brother's body in a swamp, and hung around a copule of years before doing everybody a favour and kicking the bucket.
1042-1066- Edward the Confessor was the last of AEthelred's childern, who grew up an exile in Normandy, at the court of the half Viking, half Frankish Duke. Norman in fashion and skills, and highly religious, Edward was invited back and ruled the Anglo-Saxons, most notably founding Westminster Abbey, built in Norman style.
1066- Harold II was elected to the throne by the Saxon Witan, (Council) , despite the fact that the (untrustworthy) Duke of Normandy promised that Edward had said that he could succeed when he was an exile. Harold met and annhialated the invading army of Norweigan Harald Hardraada in the North, and rushed his exhausted army back to fight William the Bastard Duke of Normandy near Hastings. Harold was hacked to pieces with his Houscarls, the elite bodyguard on top of Senlac Hill.
1066-1087- William I was Duke of Normandy, and took the English throne with the help of a Papal blessing and support because of a trumped up claim to be putting a "rightful" archbishop in the See of Canterbury. (Yeah, I'm convinced). He quickly established feudal law and a network of forts and barons to keep the English a suppressed working class. Major rebellions came from the "Saxon heir" Edgar Atheling, who fled to Scotland, and rogue Saxon Earls, who holed up in the fortress of Ely Cathedral with Hereward the Wake and who had to be included in the government by William who couldn't beat them.
1087-1100- William II (Rufus) the favourite son of William, rather than the eldest, Robert Duke of Normandy. Brutal and uncompromising and "accidently" killed by a rogue arrow in a "tragic" incident while hunting in the New Forrest with his loving brother Henry. (whose first act was to ride to Winchester and sieze the Treasury, hmmm...)
1100-1135- Henry I A bit more like it, nice to the Saxons, and married the last descendant of Alfred the Great. Unfortunately, his Saxon/Norman son William the Athlign drowned in a shipwreck, and as an heir he had to chose between his nephew Stephen and his widowed daughter Matilda, who had been married to the Holy Roman Emperor. He tried to get the barons to support Matilda, but on his death Stephen succeeded.
1135-1154- Stephen's reign was a disaster: described as the Anarchy, it was dominated by the civil war between Matilda and Stephen, and the factions that supported them. There was no army to maintain law and order, and on Matilda's death the struggle was taken up by her son Henry, Count of Anjou. Stephen's eventual lack of heirs resulted in his accepting Henry as an heir, thus resolving the war, and putting Saxon blood back on the throne.
1154-1189- Henry II Already ruler of Anjou, Aquitaine and now getting Normandy, Brittany and England and most of Wales, Henry ruled a big empire. He was an able ruler, but had troouble controlling his squabbling children. His Queen was the able and formidable Eleanor of Aquitaine.
1189-1199- Richard I (The Lionheart) Well into fighting, only speaking Norman French, and was gay. Richard spent most of his reign on the third crusade, being captured by the French and being ransomed. He died fighting the French on the Norman boarder, getting blood poisoning from an arrow which hit him as he made rude guestures at the archer who fired it. He didn't get out of the way quick enough.
1199-1216- John unpopular because of the shoddy murder of his other brothers, John ruled as regent while Richard was away fighting, and became more unpopular because of the need to raise lots of money to keep Richard in arms and then to buy his release from the French. Failed to manage the barons, forced to sign the Great Charter, he got it annulled by the Pope the next year. Lost Normandy and died fighting a French force who had invaded England.
1216-1272- Henry III Got the country stable again, but spent a lot of money on churches, and his weak stance incited the barons under Simon de Monforte to rebel, and form their own council (Parliament) of Knights from each Shire. The barons were crushed by Henry's warlike and incredibly violent son Edward "Longshanks".
1272-1307- Edward I (The Hammer of the Scots, Longshanks) Edward presented a strong face to keep the barons in order. He was well into fighting, and subjugated and annexed Wales because of the need to keep his boarders secure from Welsh raiders, and to keep his barons busy. He then turned to the Scots, and siezed much Scottish land and the coronation stone. Built massive castles, and was a skillful user of the Trebuchet to reduce opposing fortification.
1307-1327- Edward II The first Prince of Wales (Edward I said he'd give the Welsh their own Prince). Didn't really like fighting, and liked hanging about with blokes rather than his Queen (Isabella the She-Wolf of France). She had him imprisoned, and ruled with her lover, having Edward disposed of by a red-hot poker being shoved up his jacksie.
1327-1377- Edward III As soon as he was old enough he imprisoned mumsie in Norfolk and got on with being a good King. Loved warfare, and decided to thrash the French. Invented chivalry, love pageantry etc. Claimed the French throne by right of his mother's pedigree, and thrashed the French at Poitiers and Crecy. His son Richard (The Black Prince) was a bit of a chip off the old block, and was given command of the army at Crecy as a teenager, and used it well!! He was given Aquitaine to practice ruling, but died before Edward. Edward never quite got the French throne, but made stacks of cassh out of selling prisoners back to them. Had too many children who all wanted to be King. One of them became King of Portugal. His grandson succeeded.
1377-1399- Richard II Dodgy facial hair!! Presided over the height of the Plantagenet court, but was deposed by his cousin Henry Bollingbroke, , Duke of Lancaster who had been exiled and had his lands confiscated.
1399-1413- Henry IV Murdered Richard after making him abdicate. Spent a lot of time fighting the Welsh rebel Owain Glendower, along with his very violent son Harry.
1413-1422- Henry V decided it was time to re-take his lands in France and secure the French throne, especially as this kept his nobles busy. Several years of campaigning secured Normandy, the notable victory being when Henry's army was suffering from dysentry and retreating back to England and met a fresh French force. Henry fought them anyway, despite being outnumbered five to one, and his Longbowmen slaughtered the French knights ten thousand to four hundered and fiftyish English. Henry eventually concluded the Treaty of Troyes, whereby he got France on the death of French Charleds VI, along with his daughter. Unfortunately he died before Charles, and his infant son succeeded to both England and France.
1422-1461- Henry VI King of England and France, crowned in Notre Dame in Paris. Much of his reign was a regency ruled by his uncles. When in his majority however, Henry took religion very seriously, and didn't like harming his subjects. He gave much French land to the French, and wasn't really interested in co-ordinating military action in France. His inherited periodic insanity made him vulnerable to courtly hostility, and Richard Duke of York coverted the crown, resulting in civil war, fought for the Royalists by Queen Margaret of Anjou. Henry was deposed, and fled northwards and from there to France with Margaret and his son Edward.
1461-1470- Edward IV (part 1) Carried on the Yorkist cause after father Richard was defeated by Margaret. Defeated Lancastrian armies, and took the throne. Ruled a lavish court, but made himself unpopular by marrying the not noble enough Elizabeth Woodville, and promoting her relatives to important offices. This annoyed Richard Neville the Earl of Warwick and Salisbury who switched allegience to support Maragarets invading army.
1470-1471- Henry VI (part 2) restored, but not really with it, more of a pawn. Would have made a cracking constitutional monarch, but disliked the necessary brutality of the age. Edward returned from Flanders with a new army, defeated Warwick and Margaret and took London. Henry was killed, probably on Edward's orders.
1471-1483- Edward IV (part 2) Edward became ill late in his reign, leaving his brother Richard Duke of Gloucester as Lord Protector, as son Edward was too young.
1483- Edward V Never crowned: the young prince and his brother were taken to the Tower "for safety" by the Lord Protector, and never came out again...
1483-1485- Richard III produced "proof" that the princes were illigitimate (the Queen was unpopular) and was "invited" to be King. Doubtful that he was a hunchback, but was unpopular as his power base was in the north, and he used northern magnates to rule southern lands. This made the nobility up for rebellion. It came in the form of Henry Tudor, exiled Duke of Lancaster, and descendant of Edward III and Henry V's French Queen Katherine. He flukily won the battle of Bosworth, when Richard died in what he (Richard) hoped would be a decisive cavalry action to inspire a nobleman who was of dubious allegience. It failed.
1485-1509- Henry VII A shrewd and skillful politician who badmouthed Richard to justify his own taking of the throne, and who worked hard to get cash from the nobility, and secure his position.
1509-1547- Henry VIII succeeded after elder brother Arthur died. Committed to the welfare of the Church, awarded title Defender of the Faith by the Pope. However, he was not impressed when the Pope asked for "rent" for him to be King, nor did he like the excess he saw in the Roman church and Monastacism. Needeing a divorce, and the cash, he broke the Church away from Rome and dissolved the Monasteries. He used the cash to strengthen national security, building coastal forts, a navy, and thrashed the French in a land battle for the sake of it. Got through a lot of wives searching for a strong heir.
1547-1553- Edward VI was the sought-after male heir, who was too sickly and died.
1553-1558- Mary I (bloody) Attempted to convert England back to Roman Catholicism, especially as she was married to the very Catholic King of Spain. Her religious persecution and foreign sympathies made her unpopular.
1558-1603- Elizabeth I (Gloriana) had all the qualities as a daughter that her father wanted in a son. Survived her sister's reign and converted the country back to Protestantism. Refused to marry and curtail her own power. Oversaw English expansion in the new world, and tolerated the unofficial "piracy" that her navy carried out against Spain, the confirmed enemy. Her forces resisted King Philip of Spain's invasion attempts, and her long rain established a secure sense of national pride and security.
1603-1625- James I and VI Elizabeth, refusing to have children, invited her cousin of Scotland to succeed in England, finally uniting the two realms in peace.
1625-1649- Charles I (King and Martyr) Charles's belief in the Divine Right of Kings to rule became unpopular when he became at odds with the wishes of Parliament. He failed to defeat a rogue Parliamentary army, and was captured and executed by the tyrant Cromwell.
1649-1660- Commonwealth (tyrannical dictatorship of Puritan loser) Oliver Cromwell, having executed the monarch, set himself up with the same powers as a monarch, and ground Britain under the harsh heel of Puritanism. He abolished games, banned Christmas and was generally cruel, repressive and worse than Charles could ever have been. On his death, his son succeeded him as "lord protector" (yeah, this isn't a Monarchy!), but was weak, and left Parliament desperate to have a King back.
1660-1685- Charles II had fought Cromwell after his father's murder, but had had to flee to France. His restoration saw the crushing of the Puritans, and too much excess to make up for it.
1685-1689- James II Charles's son became unpopular by being Roman Catholic, and was eventually considered so unsuitable that William and Mary, descendants of CharlesI in Holland were asked to come and invade by Parliament.
1689-1694- William III Ruled jointly with Mary after James fled to Rome. Was a bit wet.
1689-1702- Mary II Ruled jointly with William, and as Queen on his death.
1702-1714- Anne Mary's sister, had fourteen children, but sadly non of them survived.
1714-1727- George I was the Elector of Hanover, descended from Charles I and was asked to rule. Preferred Germany, never learned English, and invented the Prime Minister to do the ruling for him.
1727-1760- George II The last King to lead troops into battle.
1760-1820- George III (Farmer George [the madness of]) Very popular because of his down-to-earth approach. Suffered from porphiria, which brought on madness, from which he recovered, just before his son got rid of him. Eventually succumbed again, and a Regency was declared for his final ten years.
1820-1830- George IV (Prince Regent) Unpopular, flash arrogant party-animal, prone to excesses.
1830-1837- William IV (the Sailor King, or Silly Billy) Had been a naval officer, and generally supported the wrong political parties. His brother's daughter succeeded.
1837-1901- Victoria Long reign, German husband lots of children, I'm sure you've heard of her! Presised over an expanding Empire.
1901-1910- Edward VII Unpopular as Prince of Wales as mother didn't give him much to do and he spent his time womanising and partying. Turned out OK once King though.
1910-1936- George V Fairly OK guy.
1936-1936- Edward VIII Abdicated because he wanted to marry an American. Was a bit of a fascist and got on well with Hitler. Never crowned, and died Duke of Windsor in exile.
1936-1952- George VI Edward's brother never expected to be King, but did his best, guided the country through the war, and headed a Royal Family dominated by his wife, queen Elizabeth.
1952-present Elizabeth II. Our present Sovereign.